We're like a lot better than the average bears
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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