this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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