im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
