I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
