i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
