Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
