When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?