I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't want my vagina anymore.