My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.