i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂