she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
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Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
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The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.