I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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