I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
