Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
