I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
