He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
