Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
