I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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