Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it hurts more in the daytime
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
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just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize