Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
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