you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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