I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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