Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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