You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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