I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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