am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
