Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Randomize
