The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
