omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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