Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
