I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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