Only a mothe r could love this liver
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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