I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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