Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
barbara walters just said penis...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
