the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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