operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
