8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize