Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
two words: eviction party
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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