Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
