I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
