So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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