hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
