I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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