when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
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How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
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I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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