Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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