Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
