he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
