If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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