I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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