ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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