Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
