two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The air taste purple.
Randomize
