2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Vodka?
Forever.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
