And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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