good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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