Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
