This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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