she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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