Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
