yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
