He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
