What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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