if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am available for nakedness
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
