Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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