its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize